Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behavior which may include physical and sexual violence, threats, insults, and economic deprivation which is aimed at gaining then maintaining power over an intimate partner. People of all races, cultures, professions, educational backgrounds, sexual orientations, and socio-economic status experience domestic violence.
Well, this subject had been out of mind for a while. But is now a priority for me. It is estimated that about 113,800 American women each year are abused by an intimate partner.
Nearly three out of four (74%) of Americans personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence.
One incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute (U.S. and U.K.). And it is estimated that about half are never reported. On average, 2 women a week are killed by a current or former male partner.
50% of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequently abused their children.
One incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute On average, 2 women a week are killed by a current or former male partner.
Twenty-five percent (25%) of women and 7.6% of men experience partner domestic violence at least once in their lifetimes, with women at greater risk of repeat victimisation and serious injury. Women are the victim nearly 80% of the time.
Finding myself moved by a training in Amsterdam taught by Paula Lucas, the founder of the Americans Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center, in which I participated last week, I am compelled to begin a new volunteer role (yes, I'm biting off more than I'd planned to chew, but this is worth it). My heart is in this one. It touches me for many reasons.
I'd planned to attend just the morning session, but was inspired to stay for the second part of the training to become an ambassador for the AODVC. The founder, Paula Lucas, told her story.
After a long and terrible ordeal, and despite experiencing homelessness, poverty and extreme debt after years of abuse, Paula felt she had been given a second chance. She resolved to help other abused American women and children around the world so they would not have to go through what she and her children went through. While still living in a shelter, Paula began her work and founded the American Domestic Violence Crisis Line (now the AODVC). Today the center acts as a lifeline to victimes of domestic violence.
Here is a (disturbing) snippet of what she and her children endured for twelve years while living overseas:
To see a more complete article on Paula's story, go here: http://www.866uswomen.org/Founders-Story.aspx
I hadn't thought about it, but I didn't realize how little I'd know about what to do if I found myself in such a situation. Aren't all we expat wives just living the life? For perpetrators of domestic violence, isolation is a key element - and that is so easily accomplished with an international assigment. Job done. That's where it began for Paula (although there were some red flags before then, but she hadn't 'done the math' yet.)
And I thought about the kids.
The reality is that, internationally, neither the victim nor her children have the same right to protection as they do in the States. And resources are much less available to to them. What rights do they have? Where are the laws in the Netherlands? What about in Saudi Arabia? All much more complicated than you'd think. What do you do when your abuser has locked away your and your children's passports?
I sat next to an American women who is divorced from her Dutch violent abuser (who still continues to assault her) but who cannot take her children (who are not safe with their father) out of the country (home to the States) because the Hague Convention offers no exception in cases of domestic abuse. Wow.
So, I've given my first presentation to a group of counsellors at the American School of The Hague, and will continue as an outreach ambassador for the AODVCC.
Incidentally, the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), as it is currently written, does not include Americans experiencing abuse while living abroad are not included in the language, nor are they recognized as a special needs population. Therefore, organizations such as AODVC, which provide regionally-specific services to a globally-dispersed population, do not receive federal funding.
With the VAWA reauthorization approaching, the Americans Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center (AODVC) has partnered with extremely talented individuals to form the Americans Overseas Sub-Committee to ensure that this population is recognized as a special needs population for VAWA’s reauthorization in 2010. Please look for oppotunities to support and vote for this recognition.
The same Americans are also no included in the International Violence Against Women Act (I-VAWA) which provides U.S. assistance to non-American victims.
As a woman, and as the President of the AWC, it is my job to be educated about such issues, create awareness, support advocacy and be a resource for American women living abroad when they are in crisis. So it all fits so well. Talk about a sense of purpose.
The AOWDC seeks to help women and children live their lives free of abuse.
Their Mission: The Americans Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center works with abused Americans and their children in foreign countries to provide domestic violence and child abuse advocacy, resources and tools so that they can navigate the complicated jurisdictional, legal and social international landscapes, to be able to live their lives free of abuse either in the foreign country or back in the United States. This is achieved via an international toll free crisis line, 866-USWOMEN, accessible from 175 countries, serving a population estimated at 6 million American civilians overseas.
Their Belief: That the best human relationships are characterized by mutual respect, open communication and individual empowerment. The Americans Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center envisions a life where every woman's intimate partner treats her with dignity, respect and compassion; where oppression is replaced with equality; where expression of anger is non-violent and where children grow up in violent-free homes with their self-esteem intact.
I believe the same. So I'm getting involved.
AODVC's Global Campaign to Empower Americans Experiencing Domestic Violence Abroad (targeted at 30 cities across Europe, Asia, the Middle East, South America, and Africa) is designed to have a snowball effect. The 300 new Ambassadors trained in this campaign will reach approximately 80 people each through our presentations, directly reaching approximately, 24,000 people.
My job as an Ambassador is to educate and empower different organizations, corporations, universities, and women’s clubs in my country of residence to respond effectively and to understand the issues and barriers unique to Americans experiencing domestic violence in their countries.
24,000 people will then have the knowledge and the resources to help a client, friend, co-worker, relative, acquaintance, or themselves to access the specialized services offered free of charge by calling AODVC’s international toll-free crisis line so that American women and their children can live free of abuse either in their host country or back in the US.
What can you do to help? Well, as a minimum, get educated. If you or someone you know is living abroad and is or could be a victim of domestic violence, you need to know the facts. If you're living in the States, you can be a Crisis Line Advocate - to find out more go to:
http://www.866uswomen.org/Volunteer-Opportunities.aspx
and, of course, you can donate or help raise funds for the AODVC. Go to their web site to find out how and for more information go to: http://www.866uswomen.org/Donate.aspx
1 comment:
I am so proud of you :)
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