Dusseldorf's Christmas Markets

Early in December, I travelled again with my friends from the AWC by bus to Dusseldorf to enjoy the festive Christmas markets. It was just an overnight trip, but a delight and well worth it. Beautifully decorated and full of unique products and food items, the markets were quite special, and we ate and shopped our way through the many stalls and shops - mulled wine, egg nog with rum, crepes with Nutella, bratwurst, sausage, dumplings with custard and berries, apple tart with custard sauce...and more! Saturday evening included a Secret Santa exchange at a lovely dinner in the center of Dusseldorf. Although there were only fourteen of us, we did feel a bit badly for the other patrons in the restaurant as I'm sure we were boisterous enough to seem like a crew of at least thirty ;)

My friend Pamela and I also explored the antique shops and several of the shops on the Koninsalle, Dusseldorf's answer to Rodeo Drive in LA....

This is Pam - my dear friend who hails from New Orleans - and she and I get along swimmingly.

We also walked around the local open market, which was just so colorful! I'm sure the locals were wondering what I was doing taking lots of photos of their fruit and veg...but see how lovely it was??? And it smelled terrific, too.

Aachen, Germany - November 2009

Left: My adorable friend, Elizabeth

Right: Charming Aachen

Left: One of the many, many bakeries

Right: Charlegmagne's Throne

In November, I attended a regional conference of FAWCO clubs. I know this sounds like just a weekend of fun with the girls, but it is more hard work in a conference room than anything else. FAWCO Club Members work to help each other with the challenges we all face, as well as working on philanthropic efforts.

My friend Elizabeth and I decided to drive (which, in hindsight, wasn't the easiest way to get there) - but it was a great road trip for Elizabeth and I and I'd do the same again.

Aachen is a charming town, chock full of bakeries and chocolate shops (ok, so my focus was on my tummy!) - and getting ready for its Christmas markets the week after our visit. Like most of the European places I've visited, Aachen was heavily damaged in WWII. And between my travels and all of the documentaries and films I've been watching about WWII I realize more than ever how incredibly devastating "the war" was to nearly every major city in Europe. My trip to Lithuania was the beginning of my education and strong interest in the history. I can't imagine how devastating it was for those who lived it.

There were two organized tour on this trip, but on the first day, for the outdoor tour, it was raining. The second tour was indoors (so it was, of course, not raining). And in several places no flash photography was allowed, and some with cameras prohibited entirely so there aren't, unfortunately, many good photos. And because I've been so busy I won't have the time to select and edit them as carefully as usual.

We *did* see the famous cathedral in Aachen, which houses the throne of Charlemagne (and can be seen only with a private tour guide as the area in which it sits is protected). We also visited the town hall and wandered around the city center. Pieces of his body (his thigh, a hand) are supposedly located in a couple of the places we visited as well (strange that they seem to be distributed, but that's the story they tell, anyway!)

A fun photo - recognize this couple?

Well, I know I'm waaaaay behind on my blogging. It has been a very busy couple of months. A trip to Aachen, Germany (a regional FAWCO conference) as well as a trip to the Christmas markets in Dusseldorf and our recent visit to Wales and England are among the things I'll blog about.

But in the mean time, enjoy this photo of Alex and I which we had taken when we visited the authentic Welsh village of Saint Fagan's. Alex is donning a South Wales Borderers uniform (they fought in the American Revolutionary War against the US!!!)

More to come...

American victims of domestic violence abroad

Domestic Violence 101
Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behavior which may include physical and sexual violence, threats, insults, and economic deprivation which is aimed at gaining then maintaining power over an intimate partner. People of all races, cultures, professions, educational backgrounds, sexual orientations, and socio-economic status experience domestic violence.

Well, this subject had been out of mind for a while. But is now a priority for me. It is estimated that about 113,800 American women each year are abused by an intimate partner.

Nearly three out of four (74%) of Americans personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence.

One incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute (U.S. and U.K.). And it is estimated that about half are never reported. On average, 2 women a week are killed by a current or former male partner.


50% of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequently abused their children.


One incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute On average, 2 women a week are killed by a current or former male partner.


Twenty-five percent (25%) of women and 7.6% of men experience partner domestic violence at least once in their lifetimes, with women at greater risk of repeat victimisation and serious injury. Women are the victim nearly 80% of the time.

Finding myself moved by a training in Amsterdam taught by Paula Lucas, the founder of the Americans Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center, in which I participated last week, I am compelled to begin a new volunteer role (yes, I'm biting off more than I'd planned to chew, but this is worth it). My heart is in this one. It touches me for many reasons.

I'd planned to attend just the morning session, but was inspired to stay for the second part of the training to become an ambassador for the AODVC. The founder, Paula Lucas, told her story.


After a long and terrible ordeal, and despite experiencing homelessness, poverty and extreme debt after years of abuse, Paula felt she had been given a second chance. She resolved to help other abused American women and children around the world so they would not have to go through what she and her children went through. While still living in a shelter, Paula began her work and founded the American Domestic Violence Crisis Line (now the AODVC). Today the center acts as a lifeline to victimes of domestic violence.


Here is a (disturbing) snippet of what she and her children endured for twelve years while living overseas:





To see a more complete article on Paula's story, go here: http://www.866uswomen.org/Founders-Story.aspx

I hadn't thought about it, but I didn't realize how little I'd know about what to do if I found myself in such a situation. Aren't all we expat wives just living the life? For perpetrators of domestic violence, isolation is a key element - and that is so easily accomplished with an international assigment. Job done. That's where it began for Paula (although there were some red flags before then, but she hadn't 'done the math' yet.)


And I thought about the kids.


The reality is that, internationally, neither the victim nor her children have the same right to protection as they do in the States. And resources are much less available to to them. What rights do they have? Where are the laws in the Netherlands? What about in Saudi Arabia? All much more complicated than you'd think. What do you do when your abuser has locked away your and your children's passports?


I sat next to an American women who is divorced from her Dutch violent abuser (who still continues to assault her) but who cannot take her children (who are not safe with their father) out of the country (home to the States) because the Hague Convention offers no exception in cases of domestic abuse. Wow.

So, I've given my first presentation to a group of counsellors at the American School of The Hague, and will continue as an outreach ambassador for the AODVCC.


Incidentally, the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), as it is currently written, does not include Americans experiencing abuse while living abroad are not included in the language, nor are they recognized as a special needs population. Therefore, organizations such as AODVC, which provide regionally-specific services to a globally-dispersed population, do not receive federal funding.

With the VAWA reauthorization approaching, the Americans Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center (AODVC) has partnered with extremely talented individuals to form the Americans Overseas Sub-Committee to ensure that this population is recognized as a special needs population for VAWA’s reauthorization in 2010. Please look for oppotunities to support and vote for this recognition.

The same Americans are also no included in the International Violence Against Women Act (I-VAWA) which provides U.S. assistance to non-American victims.

As a woman, and as the President of the AWC, it is my job to be educated about such issues, create awareness, support advocacy and be a resource for American women living abroad when they are in crisis. So it all fits so well. Talk about a sense of purpose.

The AOWDC seeks to help women and children live their lives free of abuse.

Their Mission: The Americans Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center works with abused Americans and their children in foreign countries to provide domestic violence and child abuse advocacy, resources and tools so that they can navigate the complicated jurisdictional, legal and social international landscapes, to be able to live their lives free of abuse either in the foreign country or back in the United States. This is achieved via an international toll free crisis line, 866-USWOMEN, accessible from 175 countries, serving a population estimated at 6 million American civilians overseas.

Their Belief: That the best human relationships are characterized by mutual respect, open communication and individual empowerment. The Americans Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center envisions a life where every woman's intimate partner treats her with dignity, respect and compassion; where oppression is replaced with equality; where expression of anger is non-violent and where children grow up in violent-free homes with their self-esteem intact.

I believe the same. So I'm getting involved.

AODVC's Global Campaign to Empower Americans Experiencing Domestic Violence Abroad (targeted at 30 cities across Europe, Asia, the Middle East, South America, and Africa) is designed to have a snowball effect. The 300 new Ambassadors trained in this campaign will reach approximately 80 people each through our presentations, directly reaching approximately, 24,000 people.

My job as an Ambassador is to educate and empower different organizations, corporations, universities, and women’s clubs in my country of residence to respond effectively and to understand the issues and barriers unique to Americans experiencing domestic violence in their countries.

24,000 people will then have the knowledge and the resources to help a client, friend, co-worker, relative, acquaintance, or themselves to access the specialized services offered free of charge by calling AODVC’s international toll-free crisis line so that American women and their children can live free of abuse either in their host country or back in the US.

What can you do to help? Well, as a minimum, get educated. If you or someone you know is living abroad and is or could be a victim of domestic violence, you need to know the facts. If you're living in the States, you can be a Crisis Line Advocate - to find out more go to:

http://www.866uswomen.org/Volunteer-Opportunities.aspx

and, of course, you can donate or help raise funds for the AODVC. Go to their web site to find out how and for more information go to: http://www.866uswomen.org/Donate.aspx

"Be normal, then you will be fool enough."

In an effort to work through my "dip in the W" phase, I was doing a bit of research to better understand the Dutch culture. Perhaps "talking" it out on the blog will help me over the hump.





This is an excerpt from an article posted on a web site entitled Amsterdam Expats: Dutch Culture - see http://www.amsterdam-expats.info/settled/dutch-culture





Dutch culture is based on Christian ideology, which still influences Dutch politics. However, since the industrial revolution, the influence of other ideologies and religions has added a level of complexity.





Dutch society is modern and egalitarian. In general, inhabitants are tolerant, modest, entrepreneurial, and independent. Ambition, education, personal achievement and hard work are highly valued qualities.





The Dutch reject those who flaunt themselves for no other reason than to show off. "Be normal, than you will be fool enough" is a common phrase in the Netherlands. I like it.





Most Dutch people might come across as impolite (and by my own standards, yes, they certainly are at times), by going straight to the matter at hand. This usually makes them seem stiff or uptight to foreigners (that's me). And this is the view that I still tend to have even after having lived here for nearly a year and a half. And it is a habit of many of my American friends to occasionally slip into a "'Dis' the Dutch" session (the things that just drive us all berzerk!)





However, if you get to know them better, it is more good than not (like our friends Anneke and Ray). For example: Almost 90 percent of the Dutch speak English, and most of the people working in the tourist sector also speak German and/or French. Their cultural heritage, artistic and musical legacy, rich history and involvement in international affairs are subjects Dutch people are proud of. As well they should be.



The fact is, I love living here (what a blessing), but there are things about the Dutch, and about expat life anywhere, that will always make me feel a bit out of place, or a bit uncomfortable or frustrated. Can't be avoided, really. It is nice to know that I'm in a good place in my life where I can appreciate the differences and challenges, rather than reject and wrestle with them. I'm still wrestling :)

My sweet nephew Shawn

Recently, my brother Jeff's oldest son (my nephew, Shawn, above) was diagnosed with Mitochondrial disease (MITO), a devastating disorder that occurs when the mitochondria of the cell cannot generate enough energy for the body's demands. Shawn's diagnosis means that we've identified the source of a history of medical problems with which he has suffered since infancy.

There is no cure for MITO, but there are things that can be done to improve his symptoms and slow progression of the disease.

In an effort to support Shawn and his family, and to increase awareness of the disease, I dedicate this blog entry to them. We love you Shawn! xoxo Auntie Leslie and Uncle Alex

In September, Shawn's mother, Sarah, took an active part in a campaign to raise money and awareness for MitoAction as part of Mitocondrial Awareness week (http://www.mitoaction.org/) She raised just over $1,000.

There are many ways you can help to raise awareness, and of course, monetary donations will help. Please visit http://www.mitoaction.org/what-can-i-do for a list of specific actions you can take. Please consider one or all of them.

The most common symptoms of the disease include (and many have already affected Shawn) include:

*Poor Growth
*Loss of muscle coordination, muscle weakness
*Neurological problems, seizures
*Autism, autistic spectrum, autistic-like features
*Visual and/or hearing problems
*Developmental delays, learning disabilities
*Heart, liver or kidney disease
*Gastrointestinal disorders, severe constipation
*Diabetes
*Increased risk of infection
*Thyroid and/or adrenal dysfunction
*Autonomic dysfunction
*Neuropsychological changes characterized by confusion, disorientation and memory loss.

MitoAction's Goals are:
*To improve quality of life for adults and children affected by mitochondrial disease.
*To internationally raise awareness about mitochondrial disorders, and their relationship to other diseases.
*To provide specifc and practical materials that help patients to manage their symptoms
*To aggregate and connect the international mitochondrial disease community.
*To create tools which empower patients and caregivers to be advocates for themselves or their children.

Blayney, I know that a prayer from you could be powerful - would you mind?

FYI, here's a link to the fundraising page from September:

http://mito.convio.net/site/TR/Events/Test2fornewwrapper?px=1042261&pg=personal&fr_id=1060&et=hnM0YEWoiKJuJdR2oFzwvw..&s_tafId=1341

The Adjustment Phase of the W-Curve

When we decided to move to Holland, part of the orientation was cultural training that we received before leaving the States. Valuable stuff for us, and we were so glad we had these sessions before we departed. It wasn't necessarily specific to Holland (those surprises we'd have to discover in a trial by fire :) But it helped set our expectations about the process and how to handle the unique stresses that would present themselves.

As you might guess, there are a series of stages that an expat experiences (not always in the same order, of course, and each stage is longer or shorter for everyone) and I find myself in one of the more difficult stages of adjustment. I think it is comparable to the stages of grief, in a way (and also that one has to experience every stage, some of them more than once, in the process).

I'm in (and I think fair to say, Alex is as well) the 'dip in the W'. The phases of this transition follow the pattern of the peaks and valleys in the letter "W" (aptly named the W-Curve). If you're curious you can find explanations in a quick Google search).

When we first arrived, we were in the "honeymoon" stage. We probably have had a much longer one (honeymoon), in part because we were so well-informed about what to expect and be prepared to deal with changes - which makes an enormous difference. Having found the AWC within two weeks of arriving also gave me a 'safe' place full of Americans all with different histories with expat living - some have lived in several countries, others, like me, doing it for the first time. I had no idea what a critical resource and incredible knowlege-base this would be for me in the subsequent months. And now our Members look to me for guidance - and I'm doing my level best! (And Blayney, I'll continue to beguile them with my New England charm :)

Most things were so new and exciting, curious, funny, strange and wonderful (ok, that's maybe too sappy!) My aunt Nancy says we live "The Life of Riley" - and I'd have to agree to a point. My honeymoon stage lasted for a long, long time! Certainly there are down sides, but I admit that I am very lucky to have this adventure.

But as things normalize and we establish a rather ordinary day-to-day routine, the things we could always rely on in our home countries for comfort (chocolate chip cookies) or as "no-brainers" (pumping gas) still require extra effort. A good example for me was Alex's British accent and local dialect.

For him, in business in the States he had to made a conscious effort to make himself understood (without having someone have to ask what he said, or misinterpret words and phrases he might use in the UK) - something most people don't have to think about in their speech. How exhausting! Knowing that gave me a better understanding of why a Brit who moved to America could struggle with (the Queen's) English ... to (American) English! - and how different could our American culture be from that of our British brothers and comrades? Well, as I learned...loads. And there were so many other little things to think about - where do I buy my groceries, what are the rules of the road? Where's the Marmite (what the heck is that awful stuff?!)?

I'm now in the quite normal stage where (akin to what happens in a developing love relationship) although I still appreciate so many of the differences in this new culture, there are some that are now a source of irritation. What was curious is ridiculous. What was funny is now annoying.

Quite naturally, there are some things that I really miss about the States, and some that have simply fallen off the list of things that are important to me. And I've embraced some new ideas that I might not have otherwise considered much. I see the world a bit differently. I do.

I miss my family and my friends. I miss customer service. I really get annoyed with Dutch drivers. I miss being given what I consider to be 'appropriate' personal space that is just natural in America. I get easily frustrated (even hostile) with 'the way things are' here. I feel guilty on too many days that the Dutch and their "Dutchness" simply make me nuts! ;)

I find it difficult to find some of my core values challenged by a culture that has some very different views. It is hard for me to understand why the Dutch don't value some of the things that to me are just obvious (like my definition of common courtesy and when it is clear that we should form a line at the cash register...) I can't help but sometimes compare what I have here with what I had at 'home' and it is sometimes tough to accept that some things I think should just be a certain way, and here they are not even close.

I'm doing all the right things. I'm very involved in the community, I continue to study a difficult language, I exercise often, I have some very good Dutch friends (as well as others from all over the world). I try to stay in touch with what is happening in America.

Right now I try to focus on the things about the culture that I do love and try not let the little things bug me. And when they do I still try to keep a smile on my face and, when I speak, my words are kind and polite (even if my Dutch is quite imperfect). I'm a guest here in a culture that belongs to the Netherlands, and it is how they've chosen for it to be. I am not a Dutch citizen with the rights that go with that - and I've no right to expect that. Sometimes my rights as an American conflict with the culture and laws here - can be anxiety producing. It feels odd and uncomfortable having lived in a country where I know what my rights are, what the rules are and why they are. It makes sense. Here I won't ever have that level of comfort and belonging.

The not so great stuff? There are some things about this culture that I'll never fully understand, or in fact, accept as right. I will be respectful, tolerant, lawful and polite. I don't ever forget that I'm an acting ambassador for my fellow Americans, either. If I don't behave well, it reflects on them.

Here, to me, it doesn't always 'make sense' :) I don't have to love every aspect of it, but I do have to respect it and I do have to make it work for me.

I'm struggling and know that this is all part of what we're experiencing. And that there will come a stronger autonomy phase (I'd thought I'd been there, but I'd lulled myself into thinking that I'd simply been lucky enough to avoid this more distressing stage). With time, I'll again find a way to more easily accept the similarities and differences and regain the sense of relaxation and confidence that I thought I'd reached.

So, a bit more than halfway through our assignment I have to say I think I'm right on track. I suppose once I reach that final stage it may be time to move to another new country. And even if and when I return to the States, by that time I'll have to reintegrate in the other direction. I already have moments when I'm back that it feels a bit odd, and less familiar to me than I would have thought.

Onward...!

A Quick Trip to Antwerp

Last weekend I attended a regional meeting of FAWCO Clubs, which was held in Antwerp and included women from Antwerp, Brussels, Den Haag, Paris, Basel and even a woman who goes back and forth between her home in Shanghai to her home in Hungary (no kiddin'!)

Anyway, I took the train to Antwerp on Friday afternoon with my friend Celeste, and had dinner with friends that evening. The Saturday was a full agenda of business for me, and early in the afternoon Alex came to join me. The entire group (about 30 of us, a few hubbies included) had dinner at a restaurant not normally open to the public. We had a traditional meal which included a trout mousse (not my cup of tea ;), some cauliflower and chickory soup (I had mine without the shrimp that most enjoyed), a delicious slow-cooked beef entree - and I skipped dessert but it was something fabulous, I'm sure.

I did walk around for a bit on Friday when Celeste and I arrived, but I didn't take the camera as I just wanted to enjoy the day. We sat in one of the squares for a beer and some people watching.

Unfortunately, as Saturday was a day for business (and a gorgeous, sunny day) what normally would have been a stroll around Antwerp, was a day in conference rooms (a good conference, by the way, and worth the trip - but a shame that such a lovely day was spent indoors.)

I also chose not to take photos of absolutely everyone during the conference (and there were a couple of folks doing just that so it was much more relaxing for me to simply be one of the crew.) The 'official' photographers of the event will post some of the photos on their local Club's website and share them through facebook.

Sunday we had a nice 'lie-in' and then in late morning a pre-arranged tour which turned out to be only a tour of the train station and the area around it (a bit too much station and not enough Antwerp, but it was ok, and interesting).

I'll be back to see more of this city (I didn't even get to look at diamonds!! :O) There is even a zoo right in the city center (not too many animals as they've been relocated since zoos have learned how to better care for animals). No time to see it this trip! I have a standing invitation from the President of the Brussels Club to visit any time - and I will.

This film includes my friends Elizabeth and Rachel, as well as a few crazy football fans that were travelling through the station - and, of course, we all tested the beer...

And for the record, I think Alex will leave me to my FAWCO conferences the next time. Although it was nice and he enjoyed meeting my friends, I think it was simply too many women for the poor guy to handle :) Fair play to him for giving this one a go!

"We must learn how to create peace in the aftermath."

This article by Dr. Judith Rich struck me - and I hope you take a look.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-judith-rich/the-nobel-prize-a-tool-fo_b_316984.html


Normally I might be inspired to write my own piece on a subject that I think warrants a post - but I don't think anyone could communicate this message more clearly, accurately or diplomatically than this.


And no, my blog isn't going to become a political or philosophical one. But this sort of thing is all the more important to me as an American (and a human being/and a world citizen) living outside of the States (and so fits with this blog's purpose - to tell you about how our lives are affected by living outside of the U.S.). Because we're surrounded by such a wide international population and culture, and one that is politically very vocal and varied, I learn so much. Which makes me open to learning more.


I think about things now with a bit of a different perspective than I did when I lived in the States, and certainly before I became part of an international family. My views about some things that I thought would remain constant have changed and some priorities have become more important to me, and others less so. Things that used to bother me don't - and new pet peeves surface :o)


Anyway...


The message is an important one.

I'm curious to know what you think after you read this.



Next up: our very short weekend in Antwerp.

Success!

Well, my address to the group at the launch of the 7th Annual Breast Cancer Awareness Month in the Netherlands was a success. And I have now met another handful of very interesting and influential people. U.S. Consul General Julie Ruterbories and U.S. Deputy Chief of Mission Michael Gallagher were among our distinguished guests.

Very unfortunately, the person who volunteered to take some photos for us is unable to locate the camera so you'll just have to use your imaginations on this one ;)

I was very well prepared and my speech well rehearsed, which was a good thing because there was no podium on which to set my notes should I need them - just a slim microphone behind I couldn't hide :) It went very, very well and I was relieved and pleased.

Special thanks to Blayney for his words of encouragement and vote of confidence - it helped!

Also this weekend Alex and I attended an Anglo-American Pub Quiz night (complete with a curry dinner). Our team did dreadfully in the quiz, but it was great fun. And Saturday evening we went bowling (ten pin, that is - and I have only ever played candlepin, so it was a challenge!) with a group from the Club and a couple of new friends.

Next weekend we'll be in Antwerp as I am attending the regional FAWCO meeting hosted by AWC Antwerp.

Today I have an art gallery opening and lots of Dutch homework to do, and Monday morning (bright and early - can you believe I volunteered for this?!) I have another Storytime for the kiddies at the Club. It is a little bit of a substitute for spending quality time with my own nieces and nephews in the States and in Wales - a bit of a "kid fix" if you will.

A distressing message

Recently I received an e-mail, from more than one source, calling for a boycott of a 'new' postage stamp in the U.S. that celebrates two Muslim holidays. It was intended, I suppose, to get me fired up, upset, and motivated to spread the word - which it did - but not in support of its contents. Quite the opposite.

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The message draws attention to a new stamp (which is not, in fact, remotely new) that celebrates two Islamic holidays. It further lists a number of terrorist events committed by extremist Muslims, and suggests a boycott of the stamp, as "purchasing it would be a slap in the face to those who were victims of those 'whom the stamp honors.'" (If you want to view the e-mail in its entirety, go to http://www.snopes.com/politics/stamps/eidstamp.asp ).

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Normally I ignore e-mails that convey messages that are obviously unresearched and blatantly inaccurate, and/or contrary to my own beliefs and philosophies, and I simply delete them. But this one really made me angry, and sad. It does a bit more than create a ridiculous false hope that Bill Gates will send you a check if you forward an e-mail to all your friends. So I'm talking about it here.

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So let's get this out of the way first - the stamp does not, in any way, honor those who carried out the atrocious acts listed.

I am very much a patrotic American, to which this message is said to be directed. But I vehemently disagree with the message of fear and hatred that it proliferates.

True and genuine patriotism requires that one defend the freedom and dignity of one’s fellow citizens regardless of their racial and religious affiliation.

Like many Americans (and non-Americans), I'm still angry and outraged about what happened on 9/11 and other events to which the message refers. I understand the anguish and frustration of families whose lives have been devastated by such events.

"Islamophobia" like that contained in this message, has, for years, incited violence targeting American Muslim individuals and institutions. Eight years after the 9/11 attacks, American Muslims and Arabs continue to suffer a severe wave of backlash violence. This violence includes murder, beatings, rape, arson, attacks on mosques, shootings, vehicular assaults and verbal threats.

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Did the person or persons who generated the message research the background of the stamp? Or investigate the reasons the government produced such a stamp? Seemingly not. Well, I did.

Just to be clear, President Obama did not direct the issuance of this stamp which, by the way, was introduced in September of 2001 (and reissued in 2002, 2006, 2007 and 2008). Obama had nothing to do with the stamp, which was actually first issued by the Bush administration. Not that it matters. But Obama-haters, get your facts straight. The lack of accuracy in your statements just highlights your ignorance, and demonstrates that your mission is simply to generate propaganda.

By the way, the issue of boycotting the stamps is largely moot, since the stamps are generally specialty items sold only to customers who specifically request them. Moreover, the stamp is an ordinary first-class stamp and all proceeds go to the USPS, not to any Muslim-related groups or organizations. Hardly the point, but worth the clarification.

The EID stamp is not the first or only governmental or commercial recognition of Islamic holidays. Hallmark produces a variety of holiday cards celebrating Eid al-Fitr, and former President George W. Bush extended official greetings, issued messages and participated in commemorations of both Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha - even after the Sept 11 attacks - and promoted the EID stamp via the White House web site. There wasn't a call to boycott the stamp then. Nor is there a call to boycott Hallmark. If the same logic applies, then if they're making these cards, aren't they promoting terrorism? That's preposterous.

In order to be consistent with the logic of attaching blame to an entire group, rather than the lunatic fringe nutcases within that group who are personally responsible for such despicable actions, you'd have to broaden your targets.

Should we boycott Christmas stamps because fundamentalist Christians bomb abortion clinics? Should we boycott stamps celebrating Jewish holidays because of the history of human rights violations in Palestine?

The bottom line is that every religion, culture, race, and nation has things about which they aren't very proud. Are you proud of the fact that we bombed Hiroshima? I didn't think so. If a handful of people who purportedly share your religion commit a heinous act, should your congregation be subject to hate crimes? Of course not.

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Fundamentalist extremists hide behind religious or other groups who do not share their beliefs or participate in their terrorist activities. Religion isn't the cause of terrorism. It is extremists who distort it to promote their personal agendas.

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The facts about the stamp are distorted to promote the personal agendas of the e-mail's creators advocates.

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For the record, Islam does not promote terrorism. Look at the Qu'ran. And most American Muslims (and your fellow citizens) denounce extremism.

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So my message to those of you who support and promote the boycott and continue to forward the e-mail, is "think about it, and think about it carefully." Don't be so easily tempted to condemn the whole bunch, because it's a very slippery slope.

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If you don't want to buy the stamp, then don't - that's certainly your prerogative, but please don't spread a message which distorts the facts and only serves to promote fear, ignorance, racism, bigotry, and hatred.

Here's an excerpt from President Obama's speech in Cairo in June of this year, which refers to the tensions between Islam and the West:

"Violent extremists have exploited these tensions in a small but potent minority of Muslims. The attacks of September 11th, 2001 and the continued efforts of these extremists to engage in violence against civilians has led some in my country to view Islam as inevitably hostile not only to America and Western countries, but also to human rights. This has bred more fear and mistrust.

So long as our relationship is defined by our differences, we will empower those who sow hatred rather than peace, and who promote conflict rather than the cooperation that can help all of our people achieve justice and prosperity. This cycle of suspicion and discord must end."

I couldn't agree more.

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Those who send the e-mail about the stamp include the text "If there is only ONE thing you forward today... let it be this!"

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I'd suggest that if you send only one e-mail today, it contain a message that promotes peace and understanding rather than one of fear and hatred.

Yipes!

The AWC is a philanthropic organization sponsoring a number of charities, most notably our contributions to breast cancer research and treatment in the Netherlands. This is a cause near and dear to all of us (remember the Heart Pillow Project?) and we are continuing with our participation in fundraising for breast cancer.

As the Club's President, I am the ambassador to events in which we collaborate with other organizations and/or sponsor. This means some public speaking, which I dread. (I spoke at last year's 9/11 ceremony and found it to be really tough). And yes, I am aware that as a drama major I've never really had any anxiety about being on stage and performing. But in a role and with a script and blocking that has been rehearsed for a long time, it is quite different. And by the way, since college I've always found auditions very nerve-wracking. Anyway...

In just over a week I have to give a speech at an art auction (Christie's will be auctioning a painting acquired through a "friend of the AWC") in The Hague - it is a reception to which well over 100 people are confirmed to attend, and many of them are diplomats and high society folk - oh my God - what have I gotten myself into? The reception is the closing of a month-long art exhibition that has been ongoing for the month of September leading to October which is the 7th Annual Breast Cancer Awareness Month in the Netherlands. A pretty big deal. I agreed that the AWC would sponsor it so I'll be front and center, representing the Club. No pressure.

I did have to give a brief address to the Membership at our Sept 10 Kick Off meeting, but this was not much more than some simple introductions and a few reminders. This is quite a bit different. At least for me.

I can do this, but it won't be entirely comfortable. I've got to work with a colleague to learn the proper protocol for addressing and meeting some of these dignitaries. Well, I'll wear something spectacular and turn on the ol' New England charm - it'll be an experience!

It'll be a good warm up for my presentation of the new U.S. Ambassador when she addresses our Members at a meeting in November.

Any sage advice, my friends and family??

Full circle more than a year into our assignment...Prinsedaag has come and gone again

Sorry to have been lax in my updates! I have been a busy bee with the AWC, and on September 10 we held our semi-annual Kick Off meeting - my first public event as President (and one which required a speech - argh!). Our speakers included the Mayor of Wassenaar and the new US Consul General. Not bad. And it went well. Very well.

Among other things keeping me occupied, on September 11 I attended the annual 9/11 Remembrance Ceremony at the American School here in Wassenaar, and on Sunday, Sept 13 I attended a Gallery opening at the Club at which I unveiled a painting donated by "friend of the AWC" artist John Proctor for an auction supporting breast cancer research in the Netherlands (to be auctioned at the Oct 1 reception mentioned above).

I have also continued with my Dutch lessons and am making good progress. Hmmmm - just more than 1/2 of the way through our assignment, I can string some sentences (and even paragraphs) together. I'm reading very short stories as well, but looking up vocabulary makes this a slow process. By the time I have any real grasp on the language it'll be time to move on from Holland (where, by the way, is the only place where this bloody difficult language is of any use at all!)

I will be meeting the new U.S. Ambassador in a few weeks - but I'll post about that as it happens.

As I did last year, I attended a luncheon held by the AWC on Prinsjesdaag (the second Tuesday in September), which is the day the Queen opens parliament here in The Hague. This involves a huge procession which escorts to Queen to parliament, where she addresses the country, and her return trip. Inside the restaurant, a Dutch woman narrates for the guests (first in Dutch and then in English) what is happening, who is passing by, and she also dictates verbatim the Queen's actual address (just in Dutch :)

The luncheon is held in a wonderful Indonesian restaurant (a delicious rijstaffel buffet) which is located on the corner of the street along which military personnel (some on foot and some on horsebac), members of the Royal Family and, of course, Queen Beatrix herself pass in her golden carriage pass on their way to Parliament. Our event is held on the second floor which is perfect for bird's eye viewing without having to be on the street level trying to see around and through the elbows of some very tall Dutch folks! For a few hours the streets surrounding the area where the procession takes place are closed and thousands of people come to watch, many donning their orange hats and boas to signify their "Dutchness" :) I wore a simple, elegant orange scarf and some jewelry with orange stones - all of which were gifts from my mother-in-law - lovely and classic :o)

This year the AWC invited members of the BCH (British Club of The Hauge), the IWC (International Women's Club) and the PWC (Petroleum Wives' Club) - (yes, the Club names are approaching being outdated as neither are all wives, or even women, for that matter). The picture above is me with the current President, Patricia Hollamby.

It was a relaxing day and I took photos of everyone and made this little film. Enjoy!

The p

Cyprus Part 3 of 3

So, after our excursion to Nicosia we thought it might be worth renting a car for a day or so to do our own exploring on our own time, in our own way. Well, it was! We found a good deal at a place right across the street from the hotel, and we headed out with a couple of maps and some advice we'd been given by a nice couple we chatted with in a local curry house.

We headed west towards Pafos, but took the coastal road, as recommended. We drove out of Limassol, past the salt lake area to our first stop, nestled in an orchard area - a small castle in Kolossi, which wouldn't have made a half-bad summer place (with the exception of the lack of running water and electricity) and after which we sat at a local lean-to drinking fresh squeezed orange juice and enjoying the surroundings.

We continued to drive along the coast road admiring some stirring views, beautiful churches and mosques, and visiting several places of archeological interest. These included one of the largest on the island, Kourion, home to the House of Eustolios and which is also complete with a fully-restored Greco/Roman theatre. We also visited the Sanctuary of Apollo and the famous rock said to be the birthplace of Aphrodite (Aphrodite's Rock :) and a number of other very interesting (albeit very hot and dusty!) places, the last of which was the Tombs of the Kings (which is not actually for Kings, but some rich dudes anyway...)

We did a bit more driving toward the northwest portion of the island, hoping to get to the Baths of Aphrodite (which we didn't reach until another day) which was, I must say, the only really disappointing part of our trip! - not what we'd expected to see after quite a challenging journey. A very small, unattended, quite unremarkable spot. But still cool to have visited.

We also took a journey up and through the Troodos Mountains (where the temperature can be many degrees cooler than at sea level). We overshot the main road we should have taken, so were on a secondary road - which at times was treacherous (consider significant heights, and roads full of hairpin turns and switchbacks, with very few guard rails .... (and which later helped us make a decision *not* to try our original plan to get to another destination using what are shown on the map as "loose surface roads" much later in the day). And it took far longer than we'd anticipate, between the road conditions - and the fact that we hadn't considered that elevations were marked in meters - not feet - doh! At nearly 2,000 meters high, that's a substantial difference (than close to 6,000 feet).

Anyhow, the town of Troodos, when we finally got there, was lovely and we enjoyed the cool weather, fresh corn on the grill, some ice cream and some very serene and relaxing surroundings. On the way down the other side is the Kykkos Monastery, the largest and most famous on the island, and dating back to 1100. I know that we were in some of the oldest parts, but it was so immaculately kept that much of it seemed new. And clearly it has been expanded to accommodate such modern-day necessities, like a garage to house the many diplomatic vehicles and other vehicles housed there. And in the nearby market area, I found it inconsistent to may brain to see a robed monk, sitting on a stone wall - talking on his cell phone. But I guess technology knows no bounds. This is a monk yes, but we are also really in the middle of absolutely nothing else. I hope he gets a good deal on roaming charges :)

We made what turned out to be a wise decision to turn around after we'd gone up and over, to go back up and over from whence we came, but had we not done so, likely would have ended up in the middle of a sparsely-populated area of the island with no street lights and no real idea of which direction to take. As much as we enjoy watching Ray Mears and Bear Grylls documentaries about surviving in the wilderness, we were glad not to have had to put any of what we've learned into practice.

At the end of our three days of car journeys, we were exhausted but it was just the right amount of this kind of holiday and we'd spend the rest of our visit staying local, lazing by the pool and sea and tuning out the world for a bit. Nice.

We made friends with the proprietor (and wife and cousin) of a restaurant we quite enjoyed, called Dejeuner. We found overselves there on several evenings. And they must have liked having us around, too, because they gave us a very nice bottle of wine one evening "on the house." And each time after the first, any single glass of wine was larger and more full than the servings of other patrons. That worked out nicely, didn't it?

Now, there are other proprieters who weren't so keen on us. Not because we'd done anything wrong. But we were not the young, thin, single, barely-dressed young women that they wanted in their clubs. We were old, fat, married, and fully-dressed. No free drinks there, no sir!

Alex, naturally, found a die-hard football fan at a local pub (shock). The owner of Shakespeare's Pub in Limassol is a Chelsea supporter. He did give Alex a bit of grief about his beloved Wycombe Wanderers - but he was respectful. And he *also* gave us some free shots...what kind of impression are we giving these people ?! :) Could be that he wanted to get us too drunk so that we'd continue to pump money into the bar-top trivial pursuit machine. He was entertained, too, by the competitive nature and male/female dynamic that is highlighted when a husband and wife jockey to win.

Now, there was a bit of karoake, but fortunately nothing captured on film (or audio!) Let's just say that we decided not to return to that pub, at least not this time. And we didn't go looking for more, like we did in Portugal :)

We did, however, stay long enough that we were invited by our new friends (including the above-referenced cousin) into the underground disco that opens after the street-level pub must close for the evening. And we stayed for about 4 minutes and realized that we are just way too old (and too fat, and too married and too fully-dressed) for this sort of nonsense of staying out 'til 5 a.m. - and we grabbed some fast food and went to bed.

We also weren't able to capture on film one other thing that I was quite intrigued by, for some reason. Perhaps it is just my love for and healthy fear of the motorcyles. Let me first say that Cypriates are kind of crazy drivers, fast drivers...daring drivers. And it wasn't unusual on any evening on the high street in Limassol, for groups of motorcyles to drive by, all "popping a wheelies" (to nearly a 90-degree angle) - and for some length of time and distance. And sometimes with passengers on the back. I was just fascinated so we tried to capture it, but our luck and timing were just not with us. We did, however, get a great shot of a giant cockroach! Hey, no place in the world is 100% glamorous :)

This is the last of the films from Cyprus.

Cyprus Part 2 of 3 - Lefkosia and Parasailing

We booked ourselves on an organized tour to Nicosia (also known as Lefkosia) - the largest city in Cyprus, and the occupied territory and the border crossing. We weren't terribly impressed with Nicosia, with the exception of the area that is being rehabilited. A beautiful little European town with uneven cobbles with art, jewelry, linen and junk nobody would want. Very nice.

There is plenty of visible evidence of the hostilities in Nicosia. There are bullet holes in the sides of many buildings, some with sections of buildings that have been completely distroyed. Other buildings are abandoned. But there are some beautiful buildings, statues, churches and mosques in Nicosia and parts of the city that are quite pleasant and pretty.

We had a lovely lunch in the restored area of the city (I had a chicken sandwich and chips - that's French fries to us Yanks) and yes,of course, some beer (the local brew is KEO). Gotta love beer on a hot day in Cyprus.

We did venture up to the top of the building which houses Debenham's (a favorite UK department store) to get a good view. You can see quite clearly all around, and you can see where the Turks have painted a large Turkish flag across a forested area.

Crossing the border is quite obvious, at least at this juncture, because you are suddenly surrounded by shops who make fake designer handbags, shoes, belts, clothing, etc. I wasn't tempted. Ok, once, but in Limassol, and I resisted :) We didn't spend too much time on the Turkish side (in Metehan), in part because of the heat and the time limitations we had with an organized tour.

It was a very hot day when we visited, but we did get some good pictures and had an educational and lovely time. The tour guide gave us a lengthy and detailed history of Cyprus, details about the hostilities with the Turks and more. I'm not going to spit it out here. If you're truly interested you should just Google Cyprus and/or Nicosia or Lefkosia and you can read for yourself. But it is interesting.

Given the cost of the tour and the structured nature of such a tour (having to wait for everyone in the group to move on, etc.) we decided to rent a car and explore the island for ourselves. That's the next entry.

But before we decided that, we took a day to sit by the pool and sea and chill. I played with that great DSi to try to train my brain. Keeps me quiet so Alex loves it :) Lots of sunscreen, hats, cover ups and umbrellas.

So I decided to try parasailing - amazing! I was a bit worried that being pulled up on the chute would give me that "stomach in your throat" feeling but it was not like that at all. I was gently let out on the line until I was quite far up and able to see all over the island and the best perspective on the sea which was just so, so blue and beautiful. It was only about twenty minutes, but it was truly breathtaking. I'd definitely like to do that again.

Cyprus - Part 1 - Limassol

We took our summer holiday in the republic of Cyprus (the third largest island in the Mediterrean - and ) in July. And for Alex, I must inform you, Cyprus was a former British colony (wasn't everywhere??).

Cyprus considers Greece to be its mother country, but it is actually an idependent state (since 1960) separate from Greece and and geographically closer to the Middle East than to Greece. Thirty three percent or so of Northern Cyprus has been under Turkish military occupation for the last 36 years (following a coup d'état in 1974). The border crossings between the two territories were opened in 2003 and one can cross into the occupied territory (and view still-existing evidence of the more violent occupation by the clear bullet holes and scars in buildings, statues, etc.). But more on that when we visit Nicosia (also called Lefkosia), the capital of Cyprus.

The water around Cyprus is so clean, clear and oh so blue! Our room overlooked the ocean and the hotel's pool. The weather was hot and sunny, but with just the right breeze to make it very comfortable.

We stayed in the town of Limassol (also called Lemasol), which has a pretty little castle called, approprately, the Castle at Limassol. We stayed at a nice hotel on the beach right in the middle of a lively part of the town (no photos of our Karoke night, I'm afraid!)

So after spending a bit of time by the pool, on our first full day we decided to see "what was what" - which included a bus ride into the old town. The buses, I must say, were less than impressive compared to the buses in Holland ;) In any event, we spent a relaxing afternoon just strolling around the town, which is quite pretty and which is home to a nice little castle. And the first of many places we visited full of ancient ruins.

We also stopped for a spot of lunch in town (my first of many haloumi dishes.) I had a bit of a sunburn on my neck and shoulders. The restaurant owner happened to be sitting at the table next to ours, and he gave me some slices of cucumber peel and told us it was a great way to take the heat out of sunburn. He also cautioned us (imagine, as bronzed as we are?) to be very careful with the sun. How nice!

There will have to be two or three films to capture it all, and it takes me quite a while to compile even one - here is the first bit of our Cypriate adventure...

Busy Summer Final Entry - Extended Family

Above: Me and Yaz


Family certainly extends beyond our biological family and for me includes some very special people in my life and it was wonderful to see them.

While in the States I was able to spend some time with my dear friend Yaz, a college friend with whom I have been close friends for more than 20 years. Her son, Shaun, is now in his early twenties, and I have to say one of the most charming, respectful and impressive "kids" (I can call him that - but he is a man, I suppose!) that I have ever known. Kudos to Yaz for raising him so well (and completely on her own). Shaun, your aunt Leslie is very proud of you - love you loads!!

Above: Shaun; Jimmy - the love of Yaz's life :)

I also was able to spend an afternoon with my high school mate Kelly and her family. Kelly is another of those lifelong friends whose family is also my family. Her parents are quite special to me and it was wonderful to see all of them. Gosh, the kids have grown so much in such a short time! How cute are they??

Above: Kelly, Michael, Fallon, Dave, Erin; Dad and Mum Findlen

I visited my friend Brenda (she visited my last September) also - and spent just a few hours with her and her silly dog Penny and her other dog, Dudley, with whom I have a special relationship. A couple of times when I was in the States and Alex travelled to Hong Kong, Dudley came and stayed with me to keep me company - what a wonderful companion! I just love him.

Above: Brendie and Penny; Penny being coy

Below: Penny and Dudley

My trip brought me full circle back to Norwood and Scituate and I was able to attend a couple of Dave, Jr. and Dan's baseball games - the last one a quite-exciting championship game in which both boys played, and Dave, Jr. pitched (I'll tell you that's a lot of pressure on a kid which he handled well - not so with all of the adults who were totally stressed by the pressure of this game!) Ok, could they be any cuter?

Below: Dave, Jr. in action on the mound; Dan in action on the plate

Below: Adorable kiddos :)

Busy Summer Part 2 - Family is Like Chicken Soup

During our trip, we attending David Jr.'s graduation from elementary school ... gosh, the kids are growing so fast, and *man* are they cute!!! This is Dave and Dan at graduation (which was a bit of a zoo!)

Being home with family is soothing...like a bowl of chicken soup when you have cold! Here are some pics of this loving bunch....

Alex and I also spent some time wandering around beautiful Scituate - and stopping for some good old American favorites - Buffalo wings and a good old fashioned, delicious, American CHEESEBURGER - a decent one just can't be found on this side of the Atlantic!

We also played some golf with the 'rents. Amazingly after having not played since we left the States, I played my best golf ever, scoring a 90 and beating hubby without a handicap. So, does this mean I need to start playing again? ... Or never play again - like walking away from the roulette wheel in Vegas after winning a few bucks....??

So, Alex spent the next couple of days golfing with his buddies after which he had to head back to Holland to go back to work :( and I rented a car and headed to Hollis, NH to spend time with my friends Anna and Bill. Unfortunately, I wasn't there long enough to get any pics (but it was a fun night out for dinner, cocktails and even a little dancing with Anna and her niece Cara...) and the next morning (ok, afternoon :) I was off visit some long-time and very dear friends - Yaz (from college!) in Maine, Brendie in Chelmsford, and Kelly (from high school!!). Stay tuned for the next entry.

A Busy Summer - Part 1

(Above: Ryan, Hailee, Dave Jr., Shawn, Dan...and Toby!)

Well, I'm just settling back into a routine after having spent a couple of weeks in the States, a couple of weeks in Holland (recovering from jet lag, unpacking, handling some AWC issues, and packing again) and then two weeks in Cyprus for a very relaxing holiday.

I'm just getting to the pictures and will begin to create films, but here are a couple of pics from the first day of the U. S. trip...

Below: Sara; Kristin & Tom

Above: Sarah, and below - my 29th birthday party :)



Alex accompanied me for the first few days of the trip to the U.S. where we spent time with family in Scituate and Norwood, and celebrated my birthday with them all. I've since been training my brain with my new Nintendo DSi ... starting out with a brain age of 78 (argh!) and as of a couple of days ago it was 33 - so I'm convinced that exercising my brain is paying off :) Thanks to everyone (Nan, Joe, Jeff, Sarah, Dave, Sara, Dave Jr., Dan, Hailee, Tom & Kristin, and uncle Denis and aunt Nancy) for the great gift!

Next up...little Dave graduates from elementary school, golfing, beautiful views of Scituate...and after that - a trip to NH, to Maine, a visit with Brenda, back to the south shore, a great baseball game and some bird watching. Then...Cyprus!

A Birthday in Bruges

Alex took me to Bruges for my birthday in May. I'd been wanting to visit, particularly after having seen the film, In Bruges. It is a very picturesque city and the weather was perfect for such a visit. I also got a new zoom lens for my camera so experimented with that, too.

I have been very busy getting up-to-speed with my new responsibilities as the AWC President - a learning curve to be sure, but I'm starting to feel comfortable in the role. A bit of time off, though, is really what I need.

I am preparing for my upcoming trip to the States and very much looking forward to seeing my family and friends, particularly our niece and nephews.

Grand Place, Brussels, Belgium

I'm getting behind in the blogging, I know...


Here's the second part of our day-trip to Brussels, where we visited the Royal Greenhouses (the film says May but it was the end of April - and I've not time to change the film at the moment).

For those who read the blog entry about my friend Denise, she has made tremendous progress and has actually been discharged and is resting and recovering at home now. She still has a challenging road ahead. Thanks to all of you for your prayers for Denise and her family.



Next is our trip to Bruges...

For Denise

A few days ago I found out that my friend Denise, also a colleague of mine at Lumigent, has had a bone marrow transplant. She was diagnosed with MDS see http://www.mdstreatment.org/about-mds/), a pre-cancerous blood condition. She is being treated in Boston by Dana Farber. Since finding out about her situation, I have been closely following her progress on a special website that her daughters and sister have created.

Denise is an amazing woman, and she is bravely getting through a very tough treatment process. To bring awareness to the disease and as a special shout out to her, today's blog is for Denise and her family.

Many of you know that, for many reasons, Denise's story touches a place in my heart that makes me want everyone I know to root for her recovery.

Blayney, if you're reading this, I'll ask that you say a few extra prayers for my dear friend.

Margaritas in Dordrecht

This past weekend we were invited to a Margarita party at the home of my friend Rachel, her husband Barry - and their dog bordeau, Ruby. Dordrecht is a lovely town near Rotterdam, and also the home of my friend Elizabeth and her husband Wim. Dordrecht is also the oldest town in Holland (this is where you need to understand the difference between Holland and the Netherlands) and Rachel and Barry live in a gorgeous home right in the center, with the Rhine on one side, and a canal which serves as a marine to some pretty nice looking boats on the other. They've renovated this property (and it has since been listed as a historic building) and it is quite different than most of the traditional-style buildings in Wassenaar.


I didn't get any shots of the city (although we plan to return to explore a bit further so I'll get them then) as we had to get to our party, and the weather when we arrived was a bit blah. Imagine just a lovely European village with cobblestones and canals, and very well-maintained homes on either side of the canals, and along the Rhine.

We had a lovely afternoon of Margaritas, great food and great company.

It's Official

On Thursday of this week the incoming 2009-2010 Executive Board was installed in a formal ceremony, including the passing of the gavel from the outgoing President to the new. The event was hosted by Martha Gallagher, wife of the U.S. Charge d'Affairs at their beautiful home in The Hague.